The following relationship "advice" is purely satirical and meant for entertainment purposes only — please do not cite us in divorce court.

Each week, we'll be rounding up the internet's most interesting relationship questions and chiming right in. From nightmare first dates to exploring new fetishes, we're leaving no corner of the internet unexplored.

My Boyfriend Is Unnecessarily Mad After Discovering I Used To Work At A ‘Breastaurant’ During Nursing School

From when I was 18-21 I worked in one of those chain restaurants/ bars that have waitresses wearing very little clothing. I was a broke nursing school student and it paid the bills (and then some). I left when I graduated, obviously.

My bf and I have been dating for only eight months, the relationship is still relatively new but also long enough that we are comfortable with each other. Well this weekend I guess one of his friends saw a pic of me hanging on the wall at this restaurant. The pic is of me and a few other girls with a kinda famous baseball player who happened to come in, and the owner recognized him. I hardly remember that day as he wasn’t even my table, I just happened to be around when the pic was taken. I was probably 19 in the photo.

When my bf received this text pic, he was so mad. He told me it’s “so embarrassing” for his friends to see that and I should’ve told him. I told him that I don’t often think about this obscure photo of me hanging on a wall from 5 years ago. He was still so adamant that I “disrespected” our relationship.

…am I missing something? I did not put the picture up nor did I even remember it was there. I’m clearly just barely a legal adult in it and I didn’t even remember it until it was brought up again. Like jeez… what happened? Is he just embarrassed about the uniform? Or is it something else? Does anyone even know, because I’m at a loss.

If he's ever worked on his feet, then he should know those jobs keep you working till an hour extra on most days. Who has the energy for flirting after going up and down, eight hours on your feet? The only feeling she was catching was pain, because jobs like that will write you up if they even catch you sitting. He should be proud that his girlfriend worked to support herself through college. Look at where it got her today, working as a full-time nurse. Friend, you were disrespected by him, we’re going with the group consensus and say leave him. Read the rest of the thread here.

Was I Wrong For Dampening My Sister-In-Law's Pregnancy Announcement During My Honeymoon?

Update to my previous post on my profile.

My husband and i finally had our honeymoon and we were unreachable during our holiday because we were out of the country. Our whole family knew this before we left and we told them the only way to reach us in emergency was to call the hotel. We knew Sara was going in for her appointment while we were away and we told her we would call her as soon as we got back home.

My husband and I was out one day for the whole day from the hotel doing activities, and when we got back we found a note on our room to say we have to go to reception. Once we got to reception, the person told us we had 7 missed calls from family and gave us a number to call. We didn’t know who called or what about, but we thought it was an emergency. We called the number and it was Matt. He was very confused and asked why we were calling him on our honeymoon and asked if we were ok? We said that the hotel said this number called 7 times and asked him if everything was ok, matt said everything was fine but Sara wanted to talk to us.

Matt called Sara over and she asked us how we were having fun etc, but we just wanted to know what was going on because we were so worried. Sara said she went to the doctor and got some news, we asked her if everything was ok, because she kept not saying anything and we could hear her and Matt whisper to each other. We heard Matt say to her “did you seriously call the hotel 7 times to tell them this? It could have waited.” Sara finally gets back on the phone and said that the doctor said she was going to have twins!! We said congratulations and asked if there was anything else? We thought it was an emergency. She said no she just wanted to share the news because she is so excited and scared and she couldn’t hold it in. She said she also called my mom, and told her (they are friends on social media) > My husband and I both just said we were very happy for them but really didn’t want to be bothered again if it was not an emergency. Sara said we were being very rude and she just wanted to share the good news. We hung up because we had to get ready for dinner.

When we got back into the US, my inlaws picked us up from the airport and were asking us if we spoke to Sara. We said yes she said she was having twins and we were very excited for them. My FIL then said Sara told them we were extremely rude to her and Matt and we were dismissive and hung up the phone. We told them what really happened and they said that is not what Sara has told the whole family.

We are now back in our house and haven’t spoken to Sara or Matt but matt texted us both but the text only cane through later where he said he was so sorry that they bothered us on our vacation and he felt horrible. We just texted back and said all good, and that we were very excited for both of them.

All i can say about this whole situation is that i am very happy that we live on the other side of the country from Sara.

I’ve been writing these blogs for a couple of months now. Redditor, u/Ordinary-Coffee-2353, your end quote, “All I can say about this whole situation is that I am very happy that we live on the other side of the country from Sara,” had me literally choking on my store brand diet coke. Now, before I crowd surf with the comments — because I agree with them — she was being extra. However, would it have killed you to hold it in a bit longer? I'm not saying that because I think y'all need to admit it, but you do it and then it's one and done. Now, pregnant “Gandalf” over here is going to make you go on this international apology tour. You’ll be fine, but what I would’ve done was let her talk... then while covering the phone, tell your husband to pretend to be an “angry” hotel employee who needed the phone back. Just an idea! Read the rest of the thread here.

I'm Starting To Feel Like My Boyfriend Is Never Going To Pay For His Share

My (f30) bf (m26) recently moved in together and we decided to split bills based on our incomes. I make almost double what he makes but I still want him to contribute it makes me feel like I’m being taken advantage of if he just lives for free. Recently I’ve noticed he doesn’t pay for groceries or ever really pay for dates even if he’s the one that asked me to go. I just feel like he has an expectation that I’ll always pay. I’m starting to get upset bc I feel like I’m dating a child that just wants to live off of me. I don’t ask him to contribute much. I pay over half of all of our shared bills and I also contribute a lot towards my retirement and savings so I feel like long term I’ll Always be paying for more things.

TLDR: my boyfriend doesn’t pay his share.

How should I bring up asking him to contribute and talk about how the imbalance makes me feel?

To me, one of the most romantic things you can do with someone is go to a grocery store for treats, and then say, "I got this" at self-checkout. It's really about the little things, because in this economy that box of Milanos you just grabbed costs almost as much as a pound of lean beef. Listen, it's a tough conversation, but I agree with the "don't overcomplicate it" sentiment from other Redditors. He may have no clue you feel this way, so on that note, maybe come to the talk prepared with some actual numbers. It's not to rub it in his face but to give him perspective and maybe help you not feel so overwhelmed. Last piece of advice, call a good friend the night before so you can blow off any steam you don't want coming his way. You feel resentment and that's completely valid, just make sure the talk goes more smoothly and less dramatic than a "Real Housewives" reunion, where you're just pulling out all these receipts on him. Read the rest of the thread here.

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[Image credit: Pixabey]