BUMMER
A Guy Who Can't Get A New Dishwasher Because Of Socialism, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'
Every day somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on Twitter from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.
Each day on twitter there is one main character. The goal is to never be it
— maple cocaine (@maplecocaine) January 3, 2019
This week's characters include an NYT columnist who feels like women’s bodily autonomy is bad for men, a guy who thinks socialists are keeping him from a working dishwasher, a 26-year-old enjoying his life in NYC and a random guy online who thinks a baby formula shortage is not a problem amid a forced birthing crisis.
Friday
Ross Douthat
The character: Ross Douthat, NYT columnist, guy nostalgic for the white elitism of yore, guy who finds Roe v. Wade undemocratic and bad for men
The plot: Amid conversations the past few weeks about the Supreme Court’s leaked draft decision to overturn Roe v. Wade, Douthat decided it was time for him to speak out on behalf of men.
He was responding, in a quote-tweet, to writer and lawyer Jill Filipovic’s tweet noting the ways in which abortion has helped men as well as people who have been pregnant and sought abortions: “Men who wouldn’t have found their big loves, wouldn’t have their kids, wouldn’t have been as successful, wouldn’t have taken big risks.”
In response, Douthat said:
Worth noting that in the 50 yrs since Roe, men have become less likely to find a spouse, less likely father kids or live with the kids they father, and less likely to participate in the workforce.https://t.co/OnMzkW80Hh
— Ross Douthat (@DouthatNYT) May 6, 2022
The repercussion: You gotta admit that Douthat really owned himself with this one. If there’s a trend of fewer men getting married since the 1973 ruling on abortion, it kind of sounds like abortion has allowed women to move on with their single lives rather than getting married for their and their baby’s family and security.
As for the workforce part, many responders issued reminders that correlation does not equal causation.
— Cherie Priest (@cmpriest) May 6, 2022
Ross thank you for speaking up for the loser freaks who are now unable to trap women into unwanted marriages.
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) May 6, 2022
"It was better for men when women were legally and socially chained to men they didn't want to build lives with" is not the flex you think it is
— Kristin Chirico (@lolacoaster) May 6, 2022
might that be because women are less financially dependent on men, and that’s a good thing?
— Natalie Shure (@nataliesurely) May 6, 2022
Worth noting that in the 50 yrs since Roe, men have become less likely to find a spouse, less likely to receive a dowry of 10 goats from her father or acres of fertile farmland, and less likely to form a truce between two warring royal families through marriage
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) May 6, 2022
… also, 50 years ago, a woman could not:
— Judy Ellis (@JudyWhaleCove) May 6, 2022
- Get a credit card
- An Ivy League education
- Life insurance at the same value as men
- Access birth control
- Serve on a jury
- Serve on the front lines
AND, she could be fired for (wait for it…) being pregnant.
Have you ever heard of these two unrelated concepts, correlation and causation
— Read Becoming Abolitionists by Derecka Purnell (@JoshuaPotash) May 6, 2022
Worth noting that unemployment rapidly dropped after Britney Spears released “Work Bitch” pic.twitter.com/gTdIYb7qYw
— Don Moynihan (@donmoyn) May 6, 2022
My favorite meme on the subject pic.twitter.com/vBFxINEzwW
— Sherry B (@OkieLibSherry) May 6, 2022
Molly Bradley
Wednesday
Matt Schlapp
The character: Matt Schlapp, political activist and chairman of the American Conservative Union
The plot: On Wednesday, American Conservative Union chair Matt Schlapp tweeted that his dishwasher had broken and he’d been told it would take a year to replace. This, Schlapp said, was a damning indictment of life under the Biden Administration.
Ignoring, for a moment, that the claim of a one-year wait for a new dishwasher is patently false — let’s acknowledge that Schlapp is holding socialists responsible for his delayed appliance replacement.
“No one will ever forget the Biden years,” he wrote. “Socialists have made building things in America a Green Nightmare.”
Our dishwasher broke yesterday. I was informed that a replacement will take over a year. I barely remember the Carter years. No one will ever forget the Biden years. A year to wait on a common appliance. Socialists have made building things in America a Green Nightmare.
— Matt Schlapp (@mschlapp) May 11, 2022
(Worth noting that Biden has only been President since last January.)
The repercussion: The many, many responses to Schlapp’s tweet ranged from disbelief at his nonsense claim to suggestions that he goes traditional and tries dish soap and a sponge instead. Several Twitter users also provided links to and screenshots of stores offering dishwashers for delivery within a matter of days, which begs the question: why post a lie that is so, so easily disprovable? And another question: who are the 18,400 people that liked Schlapp’s ridiculous tweet?
Dollar General has a four pack of sponges for $1.00. Try a little manual labor for a change. https://t.co/zeEQ779TMV
— K.C. Banks - (Something Goes Here) (@kenbax47) May 11, 2022
Well Kroger has Dawn dish soap on sale you can hand wash your dishes and dry them! Try not being so picky with your dishwashers and buy what’s on sale in stock in the store. If you have any capabilities of a handyman you can pick it up same day and install it yourself.
— Robbin ¯\(ツ) ⁄ ¯ 💉💉💉💉 🇺🇦 🇺🇦 🇺🇦 🌻🌻🌻 (@RaeMargaret61) May 11, 2022
Everybody’s dunking on poor Matt by pointing out how easy it is to get a dishwasher, but has anyone considered he’s a lobbyist who lives in a multimillion dollar house. He can’t just buy any old dishwasher.
— Robert Maguire (@RobertMaguire_) May 12, 2022
Oh no wait, I found a $5k Miele that ships tomorrow https://t.co/oNuRWsHqmC pic.twitter.com/UFr2KaaYId
I mean all you have to do is fucking open google and type in dishwasher and there is about 5,000 that you can have by tomorrow with free install but in the meantime get some Dawn and a sponge and go fuck yourself.
— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) May 11, 2022
Oh please. Here. You can have it delivered on Tuesday. Comes in at least 5 colors. ALL IN STOCK. Stop whining. Your lack of ability to google is not a crisis. pic.twitter.com/dXUFB85DYf
— Lisa Senecal (@lcsenecal) May 11, 2022
I Just bought one at Costco … 🤨
— 🌻Jacquie_RN 🩺💉💉💉🌻 🇨🇦 🇺🇦 (@jacquie_rn) May 11, 2022
you have a blue check mark … please stop lying to your followers. 😔
From the Home Depot website, two minutes ago: 108 models in stock for pick-up today, 17 more for two-day shipping, and 250 others for next day delivery. Maybe you didn’t check at places that sell dishwashers? pic.twitter.com/hlKRTuOHKy
— Grey_Obelisk (@Grey_Obelisk) May 11, 2022
Good news, Matt. I found a dishwasher that’s available immediately. https://t.co/LecMUuyfm9 pic.twitter.com/5Wvf4pPT5z
— Col. Boozy Badger (@BoozyBadger) May 12, 2022
While most people were keen to catch Schlapp in a lie, other Twitter users simply seized the opportunity to make fun of him in general.
The replies show that there are lots of dishwashers immediately available near you, so we’ll just have to assume a salesman lied in order to avoid dealing with you.
— Kevin M. Kruse (@KevinMKruse) May 11, 2022
Our dishwasher broke yesterday. Home Depot said they could not sell me a new one due to Critical Race Theory. I tried Lowe’s, but they said they no longer sell home appliances, just the book “Gender Queer.” This is President Biden’s America
— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) May 11, 2022
matt Schlapp complaining about socialist appliances is my favorite stupid tweet of the day
— Molly Jong-Fast (@MollyJongFast) May 11, 2022
i know this is easy bait but this made me lol so hard. SOCIALISTS FORCING CLIMATE FRIENDLY DISHWASHER THAT ARE UNENDINGLY SLOW 2 SHIP!!!!!!!11 https://t.co/sP0a9HMJ57
— flogging molly (@mollytaft) May 12, 2022
Joe Biden eats a entire brand new fully functioning dishwasher every morning, just to lower inventories, this is the sort of monster that leads us. https://t.co/SeCZdlxyd7
— A.R. Moxon (@JuliusGoat) May 12, 2022
I'm 35 and I never had a dishwasher until I moved in with my (now) wife like 5 years ago. I didn't realize... all those years I spent washing my own dishes... I was writing an unforgettable history of suffering and persecution https://t.co/XXrJzNrg4k
— Dan E (@Brohamulet) May 11, 2022
I’m sorry but the constitution doesn’t mention dishwashers so you’re shit out of luck https://t.co/OWS5zIzhWG
— Katelyn Burns (@transscribe) May 11, 2022
"Sir, this is an Arby's." https://t.co/K1ESej66RS
— Chris Geidner (@chrisgeidner) May 12, 2022
Darcy Jimenez
Codey James
The character: TikToker Codey James… or us?
The plot: If you’re new to Twitter, it wasn’t always like this. People weren’t dunking on each other all the time, screenshots were inflammatory and hashtag jokes used to be a thing. Earlier this week Twitter user punished_stu shared TikToker Codey James’s video on Twitter, and said “it's great how much this guy makes living in new york look like it sucks.”
it's great how much this guy makes living in new york look like it sucks pic.twitter.com/MeB3rAtSiG
— stuart (failed Lent) (@punished_stu) May 11, 2022
James’s TikTok didn’t move me much. I’ve spent four years in New York and nothing really stood out in the clip he shared. It was him, having a good time and enjoying the weekend. It’s what I assume everyone else in the city, except for me, does.
The repercussion: James’s TikTok performance brought out the worst and best in people, regarding James’s life and punished_stu’s decision to snide it. Responses ranging from “who are we to judge” to “new york is ruined” were made.
And yes, James did respond.
This is such Patrick Bateman shit, but without any of the charisma or cool aesthetics https://t.co/S2QvBrQgyG
— Kab (@soulofkab) May 12, 2022
The way people are mad at this…like isn’t this normal ? https://t.co/JYqOPSTWbX
— Niggaola is at peace (@Niggaolas) May 12, 2022
this is one of the most disgusting things ive ever seen https://t.co/jXz2HCZXm2
— cubsjaw ᛉ (@cubsjaw) May 11, 2022
i need to do a day in the life in chi and it’s just going over the layers I put on to go outside then explains how I get a bachelor style lunch at 7/11 (pizza slices 2 for 2 baby) & stare into the void in the afternoon https://t.co/SENGLzHkID
— sold (@glorbis) May 11, 2022
this is like watching a beheading video https://t.co/YQVXc6Xjeu
— 🕳⚰️💨 (@hedlike_a_hole) May 11, 2022
The irony of this tweet is that you’re seemingly suggesting there’s better ways to spend your time, yet you apparently prefer to spend yours behind a computer screen with a chip on your shoulder because someone’s idea of fun doesn’t conform to yours. It’s giving see a therapist!
— Ryan Carlos (@OhItsRyan) May 11, 2022
And for James’s response:
@codey_james This is my official response to twitter #greenscreen #nyc #nyctiktok #manhattan #twitter #fypシ #foryou #fyp #10MillionAdoptions ♬ original sound - Codey James
Adwait Patil
@MelChap0
The character: @MelChap0, a guy on the internet who thinks America’s baby formula shortage is not that big of a deal
The plot: On Wednesday, media coverage of the United States’s baby formula shortage crisis — the worst in decades — hit a fever pitch as upwards of 43 percent of baby formula supplies were found to be out of stock across the country, according to the retail pricing data firm Datasembly. The shortage, exacerbated by supply chain issues and a recent recall over a bacteria scare, sparked panic among parents wary of how this could impact the health of their children.
As Carla Cevasco, an assistant professor of American Studies at Rutgers University, pointed out in a viral baby formula thread, many mothers are unable to breastfeed for a variety of reasons (e.g. “poor latch, prematurity, cleft palate” et al) and a shortage of baby formula increases their child’s risk of dying, observing that prior to the the “advent of modern commercial formula (in the 1950s), a lot of babies died of illness or starvation because they couldn’t breastfeed.”
However, that didn’t stop some men on the internet from weighing in on the worsening supply predicament, with @MelChap0 tweeting, “What did we do before baby formula?? I promise you theres bigger problems out here.”
What did we do before baby formula?? I promise you theres bigger problems out here
— El Negro Loco (@MelChap0) May 11, 2022
The repercussion: @MelChap0’s tweet proclaiming the baby formula shortage to be small potatoes in the grand scheme of things got ratioed to smithereens as thousands of angry netizens corrected his assertion by pointing out this was an issue of life and death.
This isn’t the hot take you think it is.
— TuBlock Shakur (@kendence) May 11, 2022
Babies died pre-formula.
Babies will die in a formula shortage.
There’s still time to delete!
I’m so tired of takes like this.
— Siva (@siva2_) May 12, 2022
Same thing throughout the pandemic
“What did we do before vaccines???”
People died.
What did we do before formula?
Babies died.
Between formula, better knowledge of the body, better prenatal care, better understanding of disease. More lived. https://t.co/mrNhALNkvd pic.twitter.com/4HdOa8vDwz
Babies died of malnourishment. I promise you this is a huge problem. https://t.co/tNlJZo37nQ
— Nevermore Nox (@asteriaofnight) May 12, 2022
We had a lot more dead and sickly babies https://t.co/GhKxkEZ2kt
— Themperor Kennedy🐸🏳️🌈 (@kennedytcooper) May 12, 2022
What did we do before formula? Oh, the babies of people who couldn’t breastfeed and couldn’t afford a wet nurse or find voluntary help just died of starvation. Hope this helps! https://t.co/QMauJNBrtG
— Louisa 🌈👭 (@LouisatheLast) May 11, 2022
We made a lot of small caskets. Like come on. https://t.co/vG9OwG602z
— Northwest Cee (@CeeHawk) May 12, 2022
Men will just come on the website and have opinions instead of reading one article about infant mortality rate pre-formula and reasons a baby needs formula. https://t.co/CZGj6nUefp
— ˗ˏˋuıʍʇʎdəəɹɔˎˊ˗ 👑King of the Reply Guys🗨️🐦 (@creeptwin) May 12, 2022
Really starting to agree that giving men access to social media was a mistake https://t.co/3bJXFL3Ps6
— Jaynik (@nicholaSyaJ) May 12, 2022
it’s the confidence he had while tweeting a question he himself can’t answer https://t.co/iPzRLxHRBS
— 🐻❄️⁷ d-day🐐 | 30 🎰 (@userbfIy) May 12, 2022
I keep thinking about that man who tweeted that there are bigger problems than the baby formula shortage. Not sure that a total stranger on social media has ever caused me to feel so much rage before.
— Racquel Gates (@racquelgates) May 12, 2022
Still thinking about that man really tweeting, "We have bigger problems than children not having formula."
— Brandon (@blgtylr) May 12, 2022
James Crugnale
———
Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, which included a Florida man who thinks the people getting abortions are cat ladies who don’t have sex and more.
Did we miss a main character from this week? Please send tips to [email protected].