GOOD VIBES ONLY
A Guy Who Wants To Speak To The Manager About Target's Vibrators, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'
Every day somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on Twitter from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.
Each day on twitter there is one main character. The goal is to never be it
— maple cocaine (@maplecocaine) January 3, 2019
This week's characters include a guy who thinks American life was better before everyone could get education, a guy outraged that Target sells vibrators and two women who are very mad about the idea of students who aren't in debt.
Monday
Dan McLaughlin
The character: Dan McLaughlin/@baseballcrank, writer and holder of bewildering opinions
The plot: Amid a Twitter debate about the US government’s involvement in public education (sparked by a clip of Fox News host Kennedy proposing an end to public schools), National Review writer Dan McLaughlin tweeted his own, rather puzzling, take: that American life was at its best before widespread public schooling became a thing.
Counterpoint: 17th,18th, & early 19th century Americans had arguably the world's highest standards of living before the development of widespread public education. https://t.co/nleUUBPqo1
— Dan McLaughlin (@baseballcrank) April 26, 2022
According to Dan, “17th,18th, & early 19th century Americans had arguably the world's highest standards of living”, before those pesky public schools started cropping up. (“Arguably” is doing a lot of heavy lifting here.)
The repercussion: Twitter users were quick to point out just how incorrect Dan was, with several highlighting the many not-so-fun things — slavery, disease, and poverty, to name a few — that characterised early American life.
In the 18th century, 90% of the U.S. subsistence farmed, including a large percent of the "rich." Children died of diseases easily treatable today; no one had power, many didn't have running water; literacy was as low as 60%. Oh and a few million people were literally property.
— Matthew Chapman (@fawfulfan) April 26, 2022
Washington DC was literally considered a hardship post for foreign diplomats, and 18% of Americans were slaves in 1790, but go off I guess. https://t.co/U8OB9z4Y1w
— Fuss Really Wants to Stop Helping People (@semperfitrex) April 26, 2022
Counter-counterpoint — living standards are much higher today than in the 18th century. https://t.co/MYgASiROD7
— Matthew Yglesias (@mattyglesias) April 26, 2022
We take a break from graph crimes to bring you quite possibly the worst history take I've ever seen https://t.co/MsVTyeP9p4
— 🏳️⚧️Graph Crimes🏳️🌈 (@GraphCrimes) April 26, 2022
my ancestors may have died of cholera and dysentery but thank god they didn’t learn crt https://t.co/kBEswoSIe4
— Randy T. Festus (@TheNickLux) April 26, 2022
Dan is out here yearning for a time when he would have been hobbled by gout and syphilis by age 40 with a mouth full of dentures made from enslaved people’s teeth. You know, the good old days where standards of living were sky high. https://t.co/WxG1Yh1aQA
— Amy 🦂 (@AmyNoMiddleNam3) April 26, 2022
You left out the "white, land-owning males" in "Americans" https://t.co/38rsUSbQQ7
— Angry Staff Officer (@pptsapper) April 26, 2022
takes like these are the best arguments for mandatory public education https://t.co/3oPAUV6Lo5
— Gov. Emilia Sinner 🎃 ❄ (@Sinners4Emily) April 26, 2022
you may need the fact that every colony in New England had compulsory education from 1650 forward
— alcibiades nuts (@Theophite) April 26, 2022
I actually enjoy not shitting myself to death, but I guess Crank is built different. https://t.co/CT7R5aqOzX
— LCPS AP CRT Teacher of the Year (@tinioril) April 26, 2022
Actual historians on the app also wasted no time in setting Dan straight.
1. Standards of living for who? The enslaved?
— Dr. Joanne Freeman (@jbf1755) April 26, 2022
2. Federal land ordinances of the 1780s that focused on the procedure for creating new states wanted land set aside for public schools. The national government supported public education even before the Constitution. https://t.co/WtLspnU1T0
Historian here you are wrong on every count. New England arguably the most egalitarian of the states had a common school system in the early 19th century, colonial New England with slavery and servitude not so much.
— Manisha Sinha (@ProfMSinha) April 26, 2022
Darcy Jimenez
Tuesday
JD Flynn
The character: JD Flynn, co-founder and EIC at Catholic news outlet The Pillar, guy afraid of sex
The plot: In a since-deleted tweet from Tuesday, Flynn posted an image of, he said, “an ordinary aisle in an ordinary Target” on whose shelves sat a selection of vibrators available for purchase. “These are sex toys,” he said. “What the hell?”
Gotta hand it to him on one count: Flynn is correct in his assessment that these are, indeed, sex toys.
The repercussion: People reacted to Flynn’s outrage/disgust at the fact that you can buy vibrators at Target with several different sentiments. Some pointed out that you can buy guns at Walmart, so why not sex toys at Target? Others pointed out that in much the same way you can simply avoid taking your kid down the aisle that sells condoms, you can simply avoid the vibrator aisle on family excursions.
(Some people, unfortunately, agreed with him, but all this editor has to say is: sorry about your sex life, I guess.)
There are condoms and such in pretty much every drug store. And with the packaging used here, it's all pretty discreet. Those who are uncomfortable with that can just steer clear of the Sexual Health aisle!
— D.W. Lafferty (@rightscholar) April 26, 2022
When I don't want my kid to see dildos at Target I don't take him to the dildo aisle but I guess I'm built different
— logo, the ham bunder (@logophobe) April 27, 2022
Have you just arrived from the 1950's, sir?
— ☢️SnarkyANTIFANun☢️ (@WendyLeighS) April 28, 2022
Sex toys, lube, ribbed condoms, etc have always been for sale in pharmacies and big box stores. Walmart, CVS, Rite-Aid, Target, etc.
They've had them since I was a teen 20 yrs ago.
I guess you don't do the shopping much, huh?
And isn't this what he really means? pic.twitter.com/ygjkAZoru5
— 🏳️🌈💛⚖️ PETTY RUBBLE TO GIVE YOU TROUBLE (@HillaryzMyHmgrl) April 27, 2022
These are guns. This is an ordinary aisle in an ordinary Walmart. What the hell? pic.twitter.com/kj8poKSPQe
— Lucas ✨wow✨ (@Moreno_Augustin) April 28, 2022
Hi from America. Where Walmart doesn’t have a plug adapter for my UK laptop. But on the other hand, I can buy a rifle and ammunition. pic.twitter.com/Pm4QAPEiMK
— 𝐒𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐚🔪 (@tinywienerbabe) April 27, 2022
move down a couple aisles and pick yourself up some diapers.
— Latinx Del Rey (@DahliaZahava) April 27, 2022
OMG LOOK AT ALL THE SEX TOYS IN THE GROCERY STORE pic.twitter.com/SXedgzRvQB
— Lori Lane Rodriguez (@dogriguez) April 27, 2022
Molly Bradley
Wednesday
Kassy Dillon
The character: Kassy Dillon, director of digital engagement at Nikki Haley's Stand For America, conservative political commentator, Daily Wire contributor, lady totally cheesed off by student loan forgiveness
The plot: On Monday, President Joe Biden revealed he was looking into forgiving some federal student loan debt during a meeting with the Congressional Hispanic Caucus. (Biden had previously canceled $5.8 billion in student loans held by 323,000 people who were permanently disabled and placed a moratorium on federal student loan payments until August 31.) As of 2021, 45 million student loan borrowers collectively owe $1.7 trillion of student loans in the United States, representing the second-highest consumer debt category after mortgages.
On Wednesday, Dillon reacted to the possible Biden action by tweeting, “I just worked my butt off to pay off my very expensive student loans a few months ago. If Biden forgives student loans, I’m going to be livid.”
I just worked my butt off to pay off my very expensive student loans a few months ago.
— Kassy Dillon (@KassyDillon) April 27, 2022
If Biden forgives student loans, I’m going to be livid.
The repercussion: While opposition to student loan forgiveness is fairly boilerplate among rank-and-file Republicans, Dillon’s threat to blow a gasket over Biden’s proposed action went viral, and people began scrutinizing how much student debt she actually had to pay, especially as she previously said she had close to a full scholarship.
You graduated college in 2018 and got a Master's degree in 2021. So you're saying that you paid them off in under 4 years. The average borrower has them for 20 years. Either your grift is very well compensated or you had very little to no loan debt https://t.co/6ngcbblf62
— Kendra "Gloom is My Beat" Pierre-Louis (@KendraWrites) April 28, 2022
“Close to a full scholarship” https://t.co/HvgvDbR1i9
— Matt Novak (@paleofuture) April 28, 2022
Also, um, this you? https://t.co/yPf6F8hBNx
— Jason Bailey (@jasondashbailey) April 27, 2022
Other netizens questioned the logic of her fervid opposition to student loan forgiveness, comparing it to being mad at solving other social ills.
lost my uncle to cancer
— koush (@koush) April 27, 2022
if they cure it now I'm going to be livid
“I got cancer. If Biden approves funding for anti-cancer drugs, I’m going to be livid.” https://t.co/0wstnQ6tH4
— Mrs. Betty Bowers (@BettyBowers) April 28, 2022
Amen! If we start improving things, what's next? Curing diseases? Helping people escape poverty?
— The Hoarse Whisperer (@TheRealHoarse) April 27, 2022
Terrifying.
This is an argument against improvement as a general concept. https://t.co/0BxhMMcOTE
— A.R. Moxon (@JuliusGoat) April 28, 2022
I'm almost done working my butt off to pay off my very expensive student loans, and I for one will be thrilled if other people don't have to do the same https://t.co/oljPN7k7aP
— Schaffrillas (@Schaffrillas) April 28, 2022
Despite being pilloried by thousands of tweets, Dillon stuck by her guns, wishing everyone a good night except people who thought they were “entitled to other people paying off their loans.”
Goodnight to everyone except people who think they're entitled to other people paying off their loans.
— Kassy Dillon (@KassyDillon) April 28, 2022
James Crugnale
Thursday
Laura Ingraham
The character: Laura Ingraham, Fox News anchor, conservative pundit, Ivermectin enthusiast, (another) student loan forgiveness opponent
The plot: Following the previous day’s controversial tweet over whether Joe Biden should forgive student loan debts, Ingraham also weighed in on the topic du jour by revealing her mother worked as a waitress until she was 73 to pay off the family’s student loan debt.
“My mom worked as a waitress until she was 73 to help pay for our college, even helped with loan repayment. Loan forgiveness just another insult to those who play by the rules,” she tweeted.
My mom worked as a waitress until she was 73 to help pay for our college, even helped with loan repayment. Loan forgiveness just another insult to those who play by the rules.
— Laura Ingraham (@IngrahamAngle) April 28, 2022
The repercussion: Ingraham’s argument against student loan forgiveness involving her mother waiting tables into her 70s was roundly mocked across the Twittersphere, with people pointing out that her story actually exemplified why student loans were broken in America and wondered why she wasn’t helping her mother pay her loans once she graduated.
personally if it were the early 1990s and i were a dartmouth-educated attorney and knew that my elderly mother was still working as a waitress in order to pay off student loans... i would help her not have to do that. but maybe that's just me! https://t.co/Tgon9jSu39
— Erin Ryan (@morninggloria) April 28, 2022
Pretty sure Laura Ingraham could have afforded to pay off those loans herself any time in the past 35 years. Admitting that she let her mom wait tables into her 70s to pay off that debt isn't really the flex she thinks it is. https://t.co/PbdqRGd2I9
— Liz Dye (@5DollarFeminist) April 28, 2022
So you want more mothers to work until they're 73 to pay off loans?
— Val Santos (@ValSantosOnAir) April 28, 2022
Seems like a shitty system that desperately needs to be changed? https://t.co/Ecx2EmS8BI
— John Iadarola (@johniadarola) April 28, 2022
how old was Laura when her mom was 73? Because even if she gave birth to her at age 40, it meant Laura made her wait tables to pay her for her ivy league degree and law degree that she never used when Laura was well into her 30's and on TV. https://t.co/qeJVDG6Qky
— Cheri Jacobus (@CheriJacobus) April 28, 2022
I played by the rules and the rules gave me shit for financial aid, despite being the child of refugees who had no money. Still, my parents and I played by the rules paid off the loans we all took out to pay for my college education. I—and they—fully support loan forgiveness. https://t.co/L7hoqsKaH2
— Julia Ioffe (@juliaioffe) April 28, 2022
Happy Mother's Day! May we all work our moms into the grave!! https://t.co/nBolXbOgZq
— Brittany Knupper (@BrittanyKnupper) April 29, 2022
Countries that have FREE college:
— 𝙱𝚊𝚛𝚋𝚊𝚛𝚊 (@HoosierRebel44) April 28, 2022
Germany
Norway
Sweden
Finland
France
Denmark
Austria
Greece
Czech Republic
Brazil
Spain
Slovenia
Iceland
Luxembourg
Turkey
Poland
Argentina
Malaysia
Egypt
United Kingdom
Switzerland
Panama
Kenya
Uruguay
Why isn't isn't US on this list?
James Crugnale
———
Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, which included a journalist outraged that the person he doxxed got doxxed and more.
Did we miss a main character from this week? Please send tips to [email protected].